Taking Stock

Christmas is done. Whoa. Feels like this year is in a hurry to leave and so before it does,i must give it a proper send off ๐Ÿ™‚

In many ways, i feel like this has been the longest year i have had to live through (seriously, it should probably end already haha). This was one tough series. There are many impossible things that have been, i would probably need to keep you here a while if i went through them all. I could tell you of the ‘valleys of the shadows of death’ or the sunny days i did not want to end; they all brought with them what i consider great lessons – even for those i seem to need repeat classes ๐Ÿ™‚ . Perhaps those will make a better read, i’ll stick to 10 written/selected in no particular order ๐Ÿ™‚

1. Life is like a never ending poker shuffle, you never know what you will be dealt but somehow, you will still have to use them to play the game. And what do you know, sometimes you win.
It still sucks that i cannot know what the future holds. You still have to wing it though, use whatever you have to get through whatever you face. Would be great to get a heads up sometimes, no? Anyone with a crystal ball?

2. People are people. Expecting them to be anything more is unfair.
In many ways, i am an idealist and for the longest time, i have expected people to adhere to a certain code – it rarely works. I am learning to remember that people are people and expecting them to be a certain way is unfair to us all. Would be a better world if they did things my way though… at least half the time ๐Ÿ˜€

3. Friends can be family but family is family
I like to think that i have a lot of friends yet perhaps for the same reason, i have very few. These very few have been through most of it with me – the crappy days, the venting, they stayed even when i went AWOL for weeks or when i did not call them or text them back (due to frequent brain black outs :D) and i hope to go through it all with them again, i cannot be thankful enough. For a while, my friends were my friends and my family; it happens sometimes – when they seem to be closer and easier to reach but as i have come to learn, there is a place for family than can be filled by no one else. I am grateful to have realised that, very grateful.

4. Not my circus not my monkeys
A very, very wise and useful Polish proverb i must say.

5. It gets better…and other half truths are half truths
Well, not to be pessimistic but even my yellow self has come to understand that we have been fed a lot of half truths as solids. It really is much better to understand that anything without a definite time period allocation and a million variables at play should not be held so close because there is always the possibility of depression if said something does not pan out as we expect. Let half truths be half truths is what i have learnt, much less heartache. Conclusion? One day at a time, live one day at a time.

6. Choose to be happy
There are very few things that can beat down a happy soul. So whatever makes you happy, do that – everyday. We need it more that we know. And yeah, being happy really is a choice.

7. Savour the moments
‘A star shines but for a while’…its pretty easy to go through life without actually living it. Remember to remember to live a little, savour the moments – in the end, its the little big things that really count. I’m not at the end yet but i can tell ๐Ÿ˜‰

8. Don’t hold back
This, currently on replay >
‘I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
Brought someone to happiness
Left this world a little better just because
I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here’

9. Remember when they said we should pray more, they were right. It HELPS.
I have found that few things keep me sane – Prayer, GOOD internet, GOOD music, sleep and sugar. (Okay, its quite the list so i thought o stop there hehe) So i try to keep my supplies as lush as i possibly can. So if you’re trying to hold on to your sanity, i would recommend my no 1 – pray. And as a bonus, its really very effective, budget friendly therapy ๐Ÿ˜‰

and lastly 10: Hold on to people
Disclaimer : Not everyone, some you need to literally kick out haha but seriously, when you find kindred souls:a) if you can – marry one of them and b) hold on to the rest. Its a long journey we’re on and it helps to have some good company along the way.
Also, we never know how much time we have left to share – i am learning to give more, which is hard for one with hermit/hoarder-ish tendencies ๐Ÿ˜€ but try i will!

Am i happy this year is done, yes. Am i looking forward to the next? perhaps-maybe, its too early to tell – i am still trying to get some inside information, a crystal ball maybe before i throw in my verdict ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here’s to a year well lived, here’s to family, here’s to friends. Here’s to life and the unfolding of another unwritten script.

Happy holidays everyone, Happy holidays.

ยฉ Ang’asa Malowa


Take a Chance

pic from mummymoo.com

pic from mummymoo.com

let’s call this lesson #1 ๐Ÿ™‚ : Taking Chances

Aย year ago, as part of a society in campus i was asked if i’d like to be a mentor to some 2nd year students in our group. See, i was in my fourth and last year and who best to dish out some guidance here and there than a seniour? I hadn’t seen it all but i had lived there longer…plus I wasn’t given much time to make up my mind and i only had to meet them up once a week so i thought, why not? Try everything once right? In retrospect, that was one of the best decisions i have ever made.

I wasn’t the always out there kind of girl. Yes, i’m fun to hang out with and all but i hadn’t really mingled much in our circle. So there i was, on day one of this ‘mentoring journey’, with about twenty guys crammedย into my campus room and snacks and drinks laid out on the side table. Yes, you got it right,ย 15 guys showed up (I’d invited 5 friends to help me raid the spread just incase no one showed up hehe). Who does that?!!! Shows up for a first meeting at a ‘strangers’ place and tags along 14 more people? I hadn’t even decided if i was really into it and here they were;ย 15 hearts looking up and waiting to hear what i had to say…i freaked out. The good thing about first meetings though is there’s always introductions to be done and snacks to be passed out so i was safe.

I remember at the end of it i told them that i wasn’t the most affectionate of people. I wasn’t about to track all their moves, advice them on every turn, beat them up for every mistake or call them up every week to remind them of the meet or check up on how this and that was going. I was learning alot myself and all i could offer was my time, the much love i could muster and stories of what i felt they should know about. I told them i didn’t expect or want them to be like me, but i hoped at the end of this, they’d better at being them. Deep down i hoped i’d scared them off.ย 20 guys showed up for the meet the next week.

Flash forward to here and now and i can say that i made some really good friends through those meets. Some of them still call up once in a while and everytime they do, they pump in some more yellow in my days. I’ll never forget that for my 23rd birthday, they threw me a belated party and each got a chance to say something before we cut the cake. The beauty of those words still grace my heart and i have seen lots of what was spoken into this life come to pass.

I almost missed out on all that because i was afraid to take the chance, to let someone, or 20, be a part of my life. I can only hope what we talked about those many meets ago somehow fanned a flame in them that burns today. Even if it didn’t, it was not because i didn’t try. I took a chance, and if i was to go back in time a year ago today, i’d take it again.

Take a chance won’t you? ๐Ÿ™‚