Taking Stock

Christmas is done. Whoa. Feels like this year is in a hurry to leave and so before it does,i must give it a proper send off 🙂

In many ways, i feel like this has been the longest year i have had to live through (seriously, it should probably end already haha). This was one tough series. There are many impossible things that have been, i would probably need to keep you here a while if i went through them all. I could tell you of the ‘valleys of the shadows of death’ or the sunny days i did not want to end; they all brought with them what i consider great lessons – even for those i seem to need repeat classes 🙂 . Perhaps those will make a better read, i’ll stick to 10 written/selected in no particular order 🙂

1. Life is like a never ending poker shuffle, you never know what you will be dealt but somehow, you will still have to use them to play the game. And what do you know, sometimes you win.
It still sucks that i cannot know what the future holds. You still have to wing it though, use whatever you have to get through whatever you face. Would be great to get a heads up sometimes, no? Anyone with a crystal ball?

2. People are people. Expecting them to be anything more is unfair.
In many ways, i am an idealist and for the longest time, i have expected people to adhere to a certain code – it rarely works. I am learning to remember that people are people and expecting them to be a certain way is unfair to us all. Would be a better world if they did things my way though… at least half the time 😀

3. Friends can be family but family is family
I like to think that i have a lot of friends yet perhaps for the same reason, i have very few. These very few have been through most of it with me – the crappy days, the venting, they stayed even when i went AWOL for weeks or when i did not call them or text them back (due to frequent brain black outs :D) and i hope to go through it all with them again, i cannot be thankful enough. For a while, my friends were my friends and my family; it happens sometimes – when they seem to be closer and easier to reach but as i have come to learn, there is a place for family than can be filled by no one else. I am grateful to have realised that, very grateful.

4. Not my circus not my monkeys
A very, very wise and useful Polish proverb i must say.

5. It gets better…and other half truths are half truths
Well, not to be pessimistic but even my yellow self has come to understand that we have been fed a lot of half truths as solids. It really is much better to understand that anything without a definite time period allocation and a million variables at play should not be held so close because there is always the possibility of depression if said something does not pan out as we expect. Let half truths be half truths is what i have learnt, much less heartache. Conclusion? One day at a time, live one day at a time.

6. Choose to be happy
There are very few things that can beat down a happy soul. So whatever makes you happy, do that – everyday. We need it more that we know. And yeah, being happy really is a choice.

7. Savour the moments
‘A star shines but for a while’…its pretty easy to go through life without actually living it. Remember to remember to live a little, savour the moments – in the end, its the little big things that really count. I’m not at the end yet but i can tell 😉

8. Don’t hold back
This, currently on replay >
‘I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
Brought someone to happiness
Left this world a little better just because
I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here’

9. Remember when they said we should pray more, they were right. It HELPS.
I have found that few things keep me sane – Prayer, GOOD internet, GOOD music, sleep and sugar. (Okay, its quite the list so i thought o stop there hehe) So i try to keep my supplies as lush as i possibly can. So if you’re trying to hold on to your sanity, i would recommend my no 1 – pray. And as a bonus, its really very effective, budget friendly therapy 😉

and lastly 10: Hold on to people
Disclaimer : Not everyone, some you need to literally kick out haha but seriously, when you find kindred souls:a) if you can – marry one of them and b) hold on to the rest. Its a long journey we’re on and it helps to have some good company along the way.
Also, we never know how much time we have left to share – i am learning to give more, which is hard for one with hermit/hoarder-ish tendencies 😀 but try i will!

Am i happy this year is done, yes. Am i looking forward to the next? perhaps-maybe, its too early to tell – i am still trying to get some inside information, a crystal ball maybe before i throw in my verdict 😉

Here’s to a year well lived, here’s to family, here’s to friends. Here’s to life and the unfolding of another unwritten script.

Happy holidays everyone, Happy holidays.

© Ang’asa Malowa