Red and Yellow…No Green

Its easier to call and say you’re stuck in traffic. That beats being under the pressure to get there. Most of the time, its our fastest way out and we say it alot to friends, family…God. He calls out ever so often but sometimes, most times, we’re stuck in some kind of traffic. Traffic we can’t get out of ; sometimes don’t want to get out of just yet.

Maybe if we used ‘un-jammed’ routes or walked more instead of driving into situations we’d be better off? Yes…Maybe? I don’t know.

One thing’s for sure though; we miss out on alot of people, alot of things, chances, events…We miss out on love and God more times that we may come to know. We miss out on chances to see an entirely different side of what could be and all simply because we’re stuck somewhere where the lights never go green. Places where its almost always all red and yellow, no green.

Tip of the day: Keep away from traffic or traffic prone roads. They suck the life out of life.

So… going through my old journal i found this:

“Can you hear the melodies of this life within the storms?

Can you feel the love warming up your heart inspite of rain?

Can you see the stars behind the clouds…

the joy beneath the pain?

If you can’t see these…just see me”

It wasn’t dated but i guess its from a couple of years back. What i do remember, was that it was supposed to be a song (I’ve had the tune stuck in my mind all day) but it was too short and i couldn’t come up with another verse so i shelved it.
I couldn’t have stumbled upon it at a better time though because the growing pains had gotten a little out of hand. I’d just had one of those blue weeks where there’s not even a hint of yellow no matter how hard you try to ‘carry your own sunshine’ (which is my fav quote btw) and was just about to run off and scream. I kinda did that, in my head haha! and it felt so much better.
Then i took some time off and read up; that’s when i found this. For the first time in a long time, i listened. I wasn’t seeing any joy or any stars; heck, i wasn’t seeing anything but blues and grays. So i took my own advive and saw Him…stared angrily rather haha. I looked long enough to have Him take my anger, my pain, the fatigue and the ‘aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghs!!!’ bottled up inside. I looked long enough to see Him and though it wasn’t the easiest hour i’d spent that day, it was worth it.

Its a little brighter now, the yellow’s streaming back into my days. I’m sure this will not be the last of this depression; next time will be better though. I know where to look, i know who to see.

ps: just incase you’re wondering, the ‘Him’ i’m seeing, that’s Jesus. He’s the one person that manages to unclog my system…maybe because He’s the only one that always there just when my system crashes 🙂 Don’t know what i would do without Him.

© Ang’asa Malowa

25/1/13

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…New Year

golden-hr-ass_onetouch_mutua-matheka

Happy New Year. Well, as much as we’d all love it to be a happy new year, for someone somewhere, its not even close. Its just another day where everyone else seems to burst with way too much joy and enthusiasm. To this someone, 8 days later, its still annoying that every post everywhere has a ‘happy new year’ theme to it…and i don’t blame them for feeling like they need to move out of earth for a while until we all shush about it because for the longest time, i didn’t know it was even possible not to be in the ‘happy’ mode once a new year clocked in.

Not so long ago, on the many phonecalls we make that night, i talked to a friend of mine that wasn’t having it happy that day. So much was going on, so much that i hadn’t been there to see what with all my excitement that season. She was struck in the grey…didn’t see what we were all so happy about. Listening and talking an hour later, that’s when i started to understand that there was someone else somewhere who wasn’t having a happy new year. Someone like my friend. There wasn’t much i could do to paint my yellow over her grey…but listen and try to understand what her heart was going through just then.

Its still a new year, at least for me it is. And i’m still on a happy high as i always seem to be this time of the year. But now i know that someone somewhere is just having a new year…no glitz, no lights, no hope,no love. Maybe you know someone like this too. We can’t wish away whatever dark clouds are ruining their moment, though we’d want to, most of the time we can’t. What we can do is be there, is listen, is hand them an umbrella in the rain and where we can light up the dark…in whatever little way, lets.

It’s a new year but it’s not up in lights for all of us. Someone somewhere is wondering what the rest of
the world is fussing about…they are yet to see reason to celebrate, to be
happy, to look forward to something new…it’s just not a ‘happy new year’ for
them. I also know that telling them there’s gonna be a brighter day may not
help either…..it may not be as happy for someone else as it is for you. Light a
candle so they can see through the dark, hold their hand, give a hug, just sit
there with them…let them know someone cares. May not seem like much, but
trust me, it will put some happy into their new year

I know we all have our own new year joys and troubles to sort out and we may forget its not always all about us…Spread the happiness, won’t you?

© Ang’asa Malowa;  Photo ©Mutua Matheka

If you liked this, check out http://angasamalowa.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/it-will-be-well/