It’s been a while since I wrote anything down…writers’ block I’d say. Blocked by a lot of what’s happening inside, outside…whoa! This whole transition thing is actually more major than I thought. It’s overwhelming sometimes, being on the other side of the grown up divide and I must say I was not prepared for a lot that’s happening.
For starters, the picture in my head serves to pin me down especially because it’s not exactly what is. I remember, not so long ago, planning my post campus life and all that glitz and glam, well let’s just say it’s not so dazzling yet. You can only dream of buying sound systems and huge plasmas when you have not actually met the cost of living. Well now I live in the real world where I am a grown up and it is not always about what I want. I’m learning grownups need to think – a lot!
Sometimes I feel like life is slipping way too fast with nothing much to show in this sleepy little town I’d call in between. That phase where you’re not a kid anymore but you’re still not all grown up. I keep wondering when this ‘alien’ feeling will stop. When I’ll finally fit in; not to mention where. It’s going to take some time, time which I feel I don’t have.
Sometimes I think if I’d been less ‘sheltered’ growing up I’d be more adept at this whole growing up thing. But then, I think not. I’m grateful that I got the chance to be a child albeit a little bit longer than is usual (being a lastborn does that to you). Now I have to figure it out and make it work and this time Wikipedia won’t work.
I’m going to hold n tighter this week. If I don’t there is a very high possibility I may crumble down. I’m letting go of doing this ‘big shift’ thing by myself-clearly, I’m not very good at it. This week, I’ll hold on to three things:
In all things give thanks
His joy is my strength
I know He watches over the sparrow and He watches over me
And so I pray, ‘Lord, pin this on my eyeballs that I may always see, always hear, always believe that You hold my world in Your hands.’
Here’s to the chronicles of growing pains.